Even at the Top of Their Game, People Overlook How Far They’ve Come

I went to a beautiful convert over the weekend with my dear friend Evelyne. As an actress, singer, comedian, and wonderfully talented coach, Evelyne is hooked into many different worlds – and many different kinds of people. While we overlap in our desire to help people step into their limelight, our circles and spheres of influence look quite different. On this particular afternoon, we were watching a friend of hers own the stage.

We listened to one and a half hours of magic as the lead singer, Jo Marshall, blew us all away with her enchanting, warm, and moving voice. She wove stories throughout the concert – educating us on the wonderfully talented Marilyn and Alan Bergman – two incredible lyricists from 20th century New York – who’s music she was performing along with stories of her own trials and tribulations over the years.

Jo was accompanied by a highly acclaimed pianist, a world-famous drummer, and an incredible bassist – all remarkable and playing their hearts out on stage for us all to enjoy.

Once the show completed, we approached the musicians to remark on their triumph and show our gratitude for the heart and soul they poured into the setlist. Rather than being met with the arrogance of someone who knows their talent and accolades, we were met with a rather shy appreciation. It was clear that, despite the renown, and even at the top of their game, they simply didn’t know how incredibly talented they are.

I was almost as floored by the universality of this human emotion as I was by the beautiful music. Did this incredible pianist really not know just how incredible he was? By comparison to some of the greats he looked up to, it was clear he did not yet see himself in the same league. And yet – from where he stood – he had no idea just how many junior players would look up to him with awe and esteem, dreaming of the day they reached his level.

Musicians, I learned, don’t always get to play the music their heart yearns for. Like the rest of us, they often play the music that gets them paid. What a funny concept looking from the outside. I have such a distorted view that true artists do the work they love, regardless of who else loves it alongside them, and commit their heart to their craft, even if it means sacrificing something else.

And yet – here is the universal truth that we are all blessed with different talents, and the way we choose to bring those talents to life is completely and totally unique to us. For example, think of the talented consultant who paints on the weekends, or the burgeoning writer who keeps her day job as an executive. Are they any less of an artist than the person who leaves the corporate world behind to pursue his craft full time?

I thought of the people that I support – these incredibly talented humans who know, on some level, that they have a spark that’s unique only to them. They have drive, ambition, talent, and a vision of the future. They aim high and work hard. And yet, there’s a sense that something’s missing or that somehow, they could be…better.

The truth is, we never truly reach that upper peak because even when we get there, the point we thought we were aiming for, it looks different to us than it did when we felt so far away. As we work our way up, we have a false sense of an end of the journey – a destination that we are working towards. But along the journey we change our self-concept, we view ourselves differently, our goals shift, and so does our vision. If we follow the end goal blindly, we will never truly see the magic of who we are becoming along the way – and we miss an opportunity to celebrate a new version of ourselves who’s ideas of success looks quite different from that mountain peak we thought we were working towards.

The point is not that we shouldn’t set a goal and aim high for it, but rather we should keep a vision of who we are becoming and allow ourselves to be surprised as our journey unfolds. My view of where I thought I’d be when I started my business five years ago looks quite different from where I am today. I didn’t even consider the possibility of marriage, a move to London, and the life-changing spiritual work I’ve been doing. It wasn’t remotely on my radar. But if I had kept my eyes on all the executive coaches and leadership consultancies that held the “key to success” as I saw it and aimed exclusively for that future path – I would have long ago shut it all down and began to wonder, “what is wrong with me” since what I thought would fulfill me actually does not.

The beauty of the cliché is that it is often so simple, so wise, and so true that we overlook it for being too plain. But the reality is that we are not focused on the end goal, but on the journey we take along the way to reaching it. For we will never truly reach that destination as we mapped it out on Day 1 but will end up somewhere far more beautiful and fulfilling – if we allow it.

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