I Kept Waiting for Clarity that Didn't Come, Then I Made a Choice
"When you start to walk on the way, the way appears" – Rumi
This quote has been surfacing everywhere for me this week. I keep seeing it, hearing it, over and over again—this infinite reminder that only by taking steps forward in the direction of your dreams will you learn how to bring them to life.
I'll be the first to admit that while I've heard this wisdom countless times, I never fully understood it. We package it differently: "take imperfect action," "don't wait until you're ready," "take the leap"—various incarnations of the same idea. All reinforcing this belief that only by doing will you learn what you need to know to complete your journey, or pivot when necessary.
For those of us at crossroads or transition points, this advice can be infuriating to hear. "Yeah, yeah..." I can hear another version of myself say, "I know I need to act before I'm ready and fake it til I make it." Hell, I've even taught this to countless clients throughout my coaching life. Don't wait for the right moment – it will never come.
The Guarantee We're All Seeking
But here's the truth: most of us want PROOF before we'll do anything. We want to know that things will work out in our favor, that the time, energy, and effort we invest will pay off. In other words, we want a guarantee of success before we're willing to go all in.
But what if it's actually true? What if your deciding is what pushes the needle on everything you want? What if there's no real right or wrong way forward, but you can simply declare to yourself that you WILL succeed at that thing you want to do—or that you will remain committed long enough to find out if you can?
What if choosing it to be true is enough to make it true?
I've had countless conversations lately, especially with spiritually-minded people, who say, "I just want them (their guides) to show me or tell me WHAT TO DO! I want to know what path I'm supposed to take." Spiritual or not, we can all relate to wishing someone would just give us the map and highlight the path we're supposed to walk to reach our desired destination—even if that someone isn't us.
We want to surrender. Hand over responsibility. Allow the powers that be to shed some light on what the hell we're doing and how we can make it feel a lot less hard.
The Tempting Trap of Waiting
It's a tempting storyline: relinquish all control, allow yourself to be completely led forward, find your path, purpose, passion, and fortune, and live happily ever after. I've wished for it so many times myself—just hoping, praying there was a better path than the one I was on so I'd know if I was wasting my time or not.
But here's the truth: that way of thinking can be dangerous. It's one where we completely give away our power—our power of choice, sovereignty, and authority over our lives. We put our entire existence in the hands of someone or something else that we believe will know better than we do how we should be living.
And in that release of personal power, we find ourselves waiting, hoping for a sign, and diminishing our light.
I wish I could paint this differently, but I've seen it too many times. Talented, creative, and ambitious individuals waiting for life to happen FOR them. Waiting for the sign before they act. And in doing so, they're hitting the brakes on their life.
The reality? Their dreams get smaller, their light diminishes, and the things they yearn for feel not only like pipe dreams, but shrink to fit the size of their current life experience—not the life experience they were recently dreaming of.
I've done it before, too. I am not above this pattern, nor do I pretend to have it all figured out. But this helplessness, if left unchecked for too long, becomes a sinkhole that's difficult to escape. We MUST remember our own creative force and power to shape our experience of life, even when that experience feels hard or we're met with challenges we don't yet know how to face.
We are still at choice in our life. And we can still choose to take the steps forward that will help us see another path clearly.
When You've Tried Everything
Now, to be clear, there are plenty of smart, talented, driven individuals who genuinely feel they've tried EVERYTHING to get over the rut they find themselves in. And I believe them. I believe they've turned over every single stone, and when they haven't found that success or happiness, they've felt washed over with frustration, anger, shame, and guilt—not to mention feelings of failure, wondering if they should give up, and generally feeling like they somehow didn't get the keys to a happy life.
So what exactly is the antidote to this pervasive feeling?
Part of me still likes to believe that I can hand over my desires to a power greater than me and release them to be delivered to my door. I'm still secretly hoping this is true–as I've heard from so many spiritual teachers and recovered addicts about what happened when they finally hit that all-too-well-known rock bottom.
But in my own life, I've started to recognize that the only way I've been able to overcome this fear (or dread) of the unknown has been to allow myself to really connect with my dreams. And I mean the ones that are MINE, not the ones fed to me by society or social media. I want the dreams that flutter in my stomach because I'm not really sure I can bring them to life, but my god do I wish I could.
The Journey from Dream to Reality
Now, it'd be easy enough to see myself as unworthy of those dreams since I have no lived experience of them coming true. But that's exactly where we need to go next.
From dream → seeing your fears and doubts about achieving that dream → releasing all of your shadows (those fears) and decluttering your mind and energy so that when you start to dream, you think it's magnificent rather than impossible for you.
If you've made it this far—believe me, you've made it further than most.
Once you start to face your fears and the experiences you're having in your current reality, you feel an ever-so-slight shift in how you see yourself. Rather than unworthy or not enough, you might just start to believe it could be possible... one day.
The truth is, this process can take as long or as short as you like. Sometimes we need weeks or even months to clear beliefs that are deeply ingrained. Some of my beliefs have stuck with me for years before I've been able to nudge the needle on them.
But once you start recognizing what's actually holding you back—what beliefs you've held onto that truly tell you you can't achieve what you want—you realize how good it would feel if only you could release them.
Now you're in the right mindset. From here you can start to take a step or two towards something that you wouldn't have even thought possible just weeks (or days) before.
My Own Version of Walking on the Way
I've been saying I want to focus more on my healing work for a while. The truth is, all of the work I do IS healing. My coaching work, my podcast interviews, the workshops I facilitate—it's all infused with healing energy and my deep belief that you are worthy and capable (no, I'm not just saying this, I actually believe it to my core). But I knew it was time to stretch.
The way I'd been running my coaching business, while amazing because of the incredible people I get to work with, was starting to feel less creative than it once had. I was eager to introduce more of my "new" skills into the mix.
As you may know, I've been developing my skills as a psychic medium and shamanic healer. While I still don't feel qualified for the title of medium—I assume one day it will come, but not quite yet—I do recognize that channeling comes naturally to me.
It was only in recent weeks that I felt confident enough to share that offering with the world: a 1:1 channeling session. No sooner had I started to feel more confident and convicted of what I wanted to do than clients started booking sessions.
Believe me when I say I've never had an offer receive such warm reception before. And rather than shrinking in fear, worried I might not be able to deliver on my promise—as I might have done in the past—I said yes and held the sessions, allowing others to hear the wisdom they needed to support them on their own journey of healing and growth.
Every session was different, and not always easy, but I showed up fully as myself, tuning into the information and wisdom that felt true and sharing those gifts with my clients.
It was, in short, miraculous. The entire experience of it.
Dreaming Before Believing
Here's what that journey looked like: Dreaming of a new future and reality before I could actually see it happening. Clearing away the beliefs and doubts I'd held for so long. Letting go of old paradigms of how I thought my business should work. Allowing myself to sit in more empty space and mind wandering, intentionally not doing so I could see more clearly what was emerging. Putting an offer out into the world before I knew if it would really work how I hoped. And showing up fully, authentically, as myself to support the client before me.
And let me tell you, I've never felt so powerful in my work before.
I hope this message reaches you at the exact right moment on your own journey—whether you feel stuck in a transition phase that never seems to end, or you want to step forward into something new but are secretly afraid you might not succeed. Wherever you are on that journey, I want you to recognize that we all go through the same process in life, and the sooner you can be honest with yourself about what you want your life to look and feel like, the sooner you can start to face those limiting beliefs and fears that will, inevitably, show up to greet you.
It's from that place you can take baby steps forward, towards your dreams, and watch as the way begins to make itself clear before you. And remember,
"When you start to walk on the way, the way appears" – Rumi
With love,
Amanda
Want support to clear your path? Here's how I can help you:
#1: Sign up for a 1:1 Intuitive Channeling Sessions with me. I blend various healing techniques in this 60-min session to help you find the clarity and peace you are seeking. --> Book HERE
#2: Download my FREE Inner Journey meditation! I've recorded a free guided meditation to help you connect with your inner wisdom, no matter where you are on your journey. --> Download it HERE
#3: Want more focused support to intentionally create the life you want? Check out my 1:1 Coaching & Mentoring offer and let's talk. --> HERE