You Know What to Do. So Why Aren't You Doing It?
I've been thinking about something that's come up in conversation a few times over the last week.
This gap between knowing what we want, knowing what we need to do to get it, and actually doing it. Between having clarity on our goals and somehow NOT taking action to achieve them.
I feel this one intimately because we've all been there, haven't we? In that strange space between knowing and doing, between wanting and actually becoming.
The woman who says she'll wake up early to meditate but hits snooze. Who knows networking would change her career but never finds the time. Who can visualize her dream life but can't seem to take the first step.
Why is it so hard to plan how to achieve the very goal we say we want and actually do the things we say we need to do to actually reach the goal?
Me trying to do things I said I would do... in the park... in the sun...
I used to think this was about willpower. About not being disciplined enough or motivated enough. But I've come to believe it's something deeper.
We're all living lives already in motion. We have rhythms and patterns that feel safe, even when they're not serving us. To change - really change - means working against our own comfortable programming. It means choosing discomfort over familiarity, again and again.
And most of us are afraid to fully commit. We dip our toes in the water, we try for a few days, but we don't dive in completely. We don't go all in.
But here's what I've noticed: the universe responds to wholehearted commitment. It gives a resounding "yes" to those who are willing to say "yes" first.
So how do we become those people? How do we bridge that gap between wanting and doing?
I think it starts with four honest questions:
1. Why does this truly matter to me?
Not the surface reason - the real reason. Maybe it's not actually about losing weight. Maybe it's about feeling at home in your body. Maybe it's not about getting promoted. Maybe it's about feeling valued and seen.
When you connect to the deeper why, everything shifts.
2. What's making this harder than it needs to be?
If you want to exercise at 6 AM but you're naturally a night person, you're fighting against yourself. Going all in doesn't mean making it as difficult as possible. It means being honest about what actually works for your life and making choices that can facilitate that change sustainably (not just for a week or two!)
3. What happened the last time I tried?
Without judgment, just curiosity. What was the thing that stopped you? Was it overwhelm? Perfectionism? Life getting in the way?
Understand what patterns already exist and look at WHY. Trying to do the same thing over and over again without yielding the results you desire likely means that your solution isn't the right one (or the thing you are working on isn't yet clear enough to achieve).
4. Am I willing to go all in?
Commitment isn't a feeling - it's a decision. It's choosing to show up even when you don't feel like it. Even when it's inconvenient. Even when the initial excitement wears off.
If you're not ready to fully choose it, that's okay. But be honest about that too - and trust me, you'll save yourself the heartache of feeling guilty or ashamed when you don't cross the imaginary finish line.
Sometimes the thing that feels like failure - the resistance, the stopping and starting - is actually information. Maybe you're chasing the wrong goal. Maybe the desire underneath is pointing you somewhere else entirely.
Maybe going all in isn't about forcing yourself to do something you hate. Maybe it's about finding the path that feels more like coming home to yourself. Maybe it's about choosing the path with the most ease, the one with the least resistance.
Here's what I know: You are worthy of your own commitment. You are worthy of showing up for your dreams, your goals, your deepest desires. Not someday. Today.
What's the one thing you've been wanting but not doing? What would it look like to go all in - not perfectly, but wholeheartedly?
The space between wanting and doing is where transformation lives. And you get to choose how long you stay there.
Let me know what comes up for you as you read this email - and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need support to reach your goals.
With love, as always,
Amanda
P.S. If you've tried ALL the things and just feel frustrated you don't seem to be making progress, let yourself bow out. Seriously, just stop trying to do that damn thing. Give yourself permission to let it go. Commit to one week off, or maybe seven. Don't even think about it in that time. Then, when it's time to come back again, commit to look at it from a completely different perspective. Or enlist the help of a third party to support you. It's amazing what a little space and forgiveness can do to help us look at ourselves and our dreams with more compassion.
P.P.S. If you are done not making progress - I can help. Send me a message and let me know when you want to talk.