Do you keep your word — to yourself?
Before I get into today's story, I wanted to share that a new episode of the podcast just dropped.
In #058 — From Doomscrolling to Detox: Why Conviction Beats Willpower Every Time, I walk through the six-part framework that helped me finally complete an eight-day Ayurvedic detox after years of stopping at day three. It's about what actually makes follow-through possible – and it's not willpower. Hit play wherever you listen to podcasts.
And speaking of follow-through – it's been on my mind a lot lately…
We are our word.
At least in the eyes of others.
When we tell people what we believe, what we stand for, they are continually watching to see if we act in alignment with what we say. Is this person who they say they are? Can I trust them? Or do they have a habit of backtracking on their word?
Reliability is one of my core values – right up there, blended in with integrity. Will you do what you say you'll do? And will you honor your truth, or cave to what the world demands of you?
It took me a long time to understand how important reliability was to me. It mostly showed up in all the ways people would not honor their word, or would compromise their own values to fit a specific situation or moment. Our values usually show themselves to us this way – buried beneath everything that pisses us off or makes us feel hurt. Peel back the layers and you'll usually find a hidden value underneath.
Throughout my life it's become clear that reliability matters deeply to me. When someone repeatedly doesn't keep their word – not out of malice, just as a pattern – it's usually a signal that the relationship won't work for me. It's not a judgment. I genuinely believe reliability is something we can learn and build, like any other skill. But it does take practice, and it takes wanting to.
Because reliability is how we build trust – with others, but also with ourselves.
If I make a promise to myself, will I keep it? If I continuously break my word to myself, I'll come to doubt whether I can actually follow through on what I want – and more often than not, I'll start to believe that I can't. That breaks self-trust. It works the same way with the people we love: if someone continuously makes plans with you and breaks them, or says they'll help and simply doesn't, you lose trust in them.
So how do you go from wanting reliability – in yourself and others – to actually being reliable?
The very first step is to honor the promises you make to yourself. Start being a person who, once committed, follows through. This is especially true of the dreams and promises you make quietly, just to yourself.
Let me give you a small, everyday example.
I recently started a personal challenge – to walk 8,000 steps a day. It began after a series of walks with my husband through Hampstead Heath and the neighboring streets. We walked for hours one day, both of us out of breath (so many hills!) and also very happy – like we'd accomplished something simply by moving our bodies through the park.
We did it again the following day, and I realized how good it felt to be back in my body, back in the parks, walking. For anyone living in the UK, you'll know that rain and mud are a big part of winter, so the idea of going out for a walk is far less enticing. But with the sun shining more and the ground starting to dry up, I decided to commit to 8,000 steps a day.
And so my stepping odyssey began.
The first week was sunny and easy. We live right next to a park, so it was a simple choice to walk the few minutes to the path – endure a bit of mud – and enter the beautiful stretch that follows a winding stream up north. I got my steps in easily, going out at lunchtime and walking for an hour or so, knowing the rest would come just from moving around the house throughout the day.
But things got dicier as I entered week 2. I'd find myself deep in a flow with work, my mind fully occupied, and suddenly the sun had gone and I'd missed my window. Monday evening I went out and wandered until I could meet my husband at the tube station and walk him home. Tuesday he joined me for a stroll around the neighborhood to finish the last few thousand steps.
By Wednesday I was walking circles around the upstairs of our house. By Thursday night, I'd convinced him to go for dinner on the high street to get more steps in – and even then, still 3,000 shy on the walk home, I gave up.
I went upstairs, sat in my armchair, and busied myself with the news.
I woke up on Friday feeling disappointed in myself. I'd been having so much fun reaching 8,000 steps, feeling that small daily elation. And I'd given it up so easily when I was too tired to follow through.
Friday was flat. I spent the whole day at my computer, barely moving. By evening I had only 2,000 steps.
My husband cooked dinner, and when we'd finished cleaning up he said: "Come on, let's go for a walk." It was already after 8. I looked at him. "You can't be serious." He was. He knew I needed to get my steps in, and that I'd nearly given up on myself the day before.
So we put on our waterproof sneakers and raincoats – yes, necessary – and wandered out into the streets. We walked for over an hour, chatting about our days, nosily peering at other people's homes and gardens, getting to know the small streets of Totteridge as we went.
He didn't need to do that. He wasn't the one committed to 8,000 steps. But he knew I needed a little extra support to get to the finish line that day, and I was so grateful for it.
Because he helped me remember something important: I am a person who can show up and do the thing I said I would do. And on the days when it feels hard, I can ask for help to get there.
Here's what I want you to take from this: you don't have to commit to something forever to make it meaningful. Commit for two weeks. See how it feels. Then decide if you want to continue, adjust, or let it go. The point isn't the 8,000 steps – it's that you showed up when you said you would. That you honored yourself.
That's what it means to be in integrity with yourself – not perfection, but returning to your word when you've drifted.
Because when you do that, you start to trust yourself. And others will feel that, too.
What have you been telling yourself you'll do… and haven't yet? What would change if you did?
Hit reply and let me know – I will happily cheer you on as you honor your word to yourself.
With love,
Amanda
PLUS: Ready to take the next step? Here are four ways we can go deeper together:
→ Listen to the latest episode of Don't Step on the Bluebells - Why Conviction Beats Willpower Every Time
→ Book a 60-Min Oracle Reading to shift your energy in the right direction.
→ Join the Waitlist for the Inner Authority Lab!
→ Apply to work with me one-on-one — Transformational Coaching, Healing, Spiritual Mentorship