The Difference Between Trying and Deciding
Last week, my husband and I completed an 8-day Ayurvedic mungbean detox.
Day 1, I was hugging the toilet, feeling sick to my stomach—literally—wondering if I could even make it through another 7 days of this.
My head pounded from caffeine withdrawal. My body ached. My brain was in a fog, searching for the gluten, dairy, sugar—all my comfort foods, gone in one shot.
I'd done this detox before. Twice. Both times we stopped after 3 days.
But this time felt different, even on Day 1 when I felt absolutely terrible. I just knew I was going to finish. I can't explain why exactly, but the knowing was there.
We started because I needed a reset. We both did, really. In early January, I was doom-scrolling through an endless news cycle, trying to stay on top of everything in my business, managing daily life—and I was frayed. My body was telling me, too: swelling in my feet for months, pain in my knee, a heaviness that wouldn't shift.
When we finally had a window—no travel, no house guests, no big events in London—we went for it. Bought all the ingredients for the mungbean soup (Suyogi Gessner's recipe, the Ayurvedic doctor who saved me 10 years ago with a head-to-toe rash). We cleared our schedules. I deleted Instagram and gave myself permission to rest without guilt.
February 1st, we began.
By Day 2 and 3, the headache lessened slightly, but the fog stayed. There was also this slowing down—my body consuming less energy, my mind no longer able to frantically keep up with multiple threads at once. It was a relief.
Days 4 through 8 became simpler. We fell into a rhythm—preparing meals for days at a time, resting when we needed to, letting our bodies do the work.
On February 8th, we finished.
The knee pain? Gone. The swelling? Disappeared. The overwhelm and anxiety? Lifted. My body felt lighter in every way.
I've been thinking about it all week. Not just how good I feel, but what made this time different.
My husband and I joke about this sometimes, "How do you do something you want to do, but haven't been able to stick to before?" "It's easy. You just do it."
It sounds so simple. Like obvious advice. You might even think, "Yeah! I'm just going to do it! Starting tomorrow." And then tomorrow never materializes.
I've started and completed plenty of projects. I've also started and abandoned plenty. And when I look at the difference between the two, there are usually a few key things at play:
Conviction. That deep knowing that I can do this. It's the difference between calling it quits halfway through and pushing to the finish line.
Time boundaries. Eight days, not forever. When I launched my podcast, I committed to one year before I could quit. That specific horizon—whether it's 8 days or 12 months—makes all the difference between feeling lost and showing up.
Actually deciding. Not "I'll try" but "I'm doing this." All in, not half-in half-out waiting to see if it fails.
Small steps. Groceries bought ahead of time. Schedule cleared. Instagram deleted. Permission to rest. Success gets built in the preparation, not just the execution.
Visualizing the result. I could see my body feeling lighter, the inflammation gone, my mind clearer. I could imagine how my clothes would feel. That vision kept me going when I felt terrible.
Someone in your corner. I could not have done this alone. My husband doing it with me made it 10x easier. Not because misery loves company, but because having someone who has your back changes everything.
I don't know what you're trying to stick with right now. Maybe it's something big, maybe something small. Maybe you've started and stopped a dozen times and lost trust in yourself that you can actually do it.
I work with so many people—clients, friends, readers like you—who have goals they genuinely want to complete but just can't seem to stick to them. Or they have an idea of something they want to do but don't know how to start. And they think it's all on them. That if they just had more willpower, more discipline, more resolve, they could "just do it."
But here's the truth: it's not about willpower. It's about deciding—really deciding—and then building the conditions that support you to succeed, especially on the days when it feels hard.
There's no shortcut around the deciding and committing part. You have to actually want it enough to go all in. But once you do? You don't have to white-knuckle your way through on sheer determination alone. You set up the container. You prepare. You get support. You give yourself boundaries and permission and the structure you need.
That's when change becomes possible.
So whatever you're looking at, wishing you had the strength to do it—know that it is possible for you. You just might need to stop putting all the weight on your shoulders and start building the conditions that will actually carry you through.
I am rooting for you, always.
With love,
Amanda
PLUS: Ready to take the next step? Here are four ways we can go deeper together:
→ Listen to the latest episode of Don't Step on the Bluebells - Why Conviction Beats Willpower Every Time
→ Book a 60-Min Oracle Reading to shift your energy in the right direction.
→ Join the Waitlist for the Inner Authority Lab!
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