Lessons From Clown School
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It was my coach who taught me the power of retreats as a complement to any high-level coaching program. The power of coming together in a magical place (that isn't home) cannot be underestimated. It’s what made me include private retreats as a part of my coaching programs.
For the last two years I’ve been able to attend a retreat with my own coach in Santa Fe. He brings together experts in their fields to help his clients tap deeper into who they are and what they want their lives to look and feel like. It’s a deeply magical process as each one of us faces our own unique fears, doubts, hopes, and dreams. And then, through the help of different facilitators, we take an even closer look at what might be standing in the way, or what choices we need to be making differently in order to see a different result in our life.
If you’ve been here a while, you’ve heard me say it before “we are always at choice”. Even when, sometimes, it feels like we aren’t.
That is the difference between being a victim to your life – where things always happen TO you. And being empowered and in a seat of choice where you get to decide what you want your life to look and feel like. And to pursue it.
One of our activities in Santa Fe was Clown School. Yes, you heard me right.
The brilliant Mackenzie Shapiro guided us through an afternoon of clowning activities – teaching us to not only access deeper truth, but to get more in touch with our vulnerable, awkward, and even helpless side. She had a brilliant array of activities lined up for us to work together in groups, or alone, that focused on wordless communication, doing things that scared us (or we thought were downright impossible) right there in front of our audience of peers, and to fail – over and over again.
Admittedly, some of the exercises made me want to curl up in a ball, or get back into bed, but since I was there for my own growth – I showed up and participated fully.
One of our activities was to write out a list of all the things we could “never” do – that we would simply be too afraid to do, or didn’t know how, or any other number of excuses we could each have given about why we couldn’t do that thing. And then we had to perform one of them for the group.
Voices groaned, stomachs churned. We each read through our list trying to decide what part of our dignity we were willing to part with in order to fit the assignment.
And then, one-at-a-time each brave soul stood up in front of the room and did the thing they were most scared of doing – and were not only witnessed fully by the group but held in awe as they faced their fear.
I watched my peers stand up and sing karaoke without the lyrics, list off all the jobs they ever had that they were both ashamed and proud of, attempt an unsupported headstand, and talk about all the reasons why they loved their religion. Each one of them facing a barrage of inner dialogue which told them not to do it, they weren’t safe, they would look stupid, or they would somehow f*ck it all up.
I stood up in front of the group and, while trembling, offered to give a psychic reading in front of an audience. Ordinarily my nerves get the better of me if I feel too much pressure to perform. My desire to please or get it right comes front and center and the urge to make it all up is strong. I asked who in the group would be genuinely open to receive a reading and chose the person I sensed was the most open and ready to receive a message (making my job just a tiny bit easier).
With trembling breath I closed my eyes and connected in to my center, tapping first into my physical body for signs of what my “client” might be feeling and then delivered a beautiful, if short, reading about not needing to carry so much weight on his shoulders and telling him that he was most certainly not doing it all alone. That’s when I felt both of this man’s parents standing behind him, on either side of him, holding and supporting him – reminding him they were always there and he was never acting on his own. His eyes filled with tears. So did mine. And a number of others in the room.
The wave of joy that flooded through me at facing one of my biggest fears – giving a reading, under pressure, in front of a room (public speaking no less) – was palpable. Despite the trembling hands and deep desire to “get it right” I was able to tune in to something greater than myself and to offer a channeled message of love, hope, and reassurance to someone who needed it in that very moment. And I showed myself that I’m also able to work through strong currents of fear and remain connected to my body and my spirit – something I had previously thought nearly impossible to do.
The retreat itself was a wild success, each one of us taking away exactly what we needed in that moment. Having a collective, but at the same time very individual experience. And a moment of transformation was evident for each one of us. Leading me back to London with a full heart and mind and a deeper trust in myself and my abilities as a healer, psychic, coach, leader, and woman.
If you might not have the opportunity to make it to Clown School, though admittedly I’m starting to think we all should, here is a shortcut.
Here is what I learned:
You have to let other people fail - you cannot protect them from learning the lessons they need to learn.
Communication is done with so much more than words – every eye movement, every shift in the body, every drop of energy in the room tells a story.
Do the thing you are most afraid of as soon as possible! And, if available, with an audience watching. The fear is real, but the pride of accomplishment is even greater when it’s all over.
A good clown is as much in touch with his / her own pain as with his / her joy. It’s the ability to face the full spectrum of emotions that make clowns (or comics) able to reach their audiences so deeply.
Get used to messing it all up. Failure is a mandatory part of the program – if you aren’t failing, you aren’t really showing up.
We are all in this together - there is not a single person on Earth who isn’t trying to figure it out as they go.
If you're ready to deepen your connection to your intuition, here are a few ways we can work together:
→ Join the Inner Vision Quest! Kicking off October 21st. We meet weekly over 6 weeks to discover your unique intuitive gifts. Limited spots available.
→ Book a 1:1 Wisdom Session - A 60-minute intuitive session for personalized guidance. Book here.
→ Download the FREE Inner Wisdom Playbook - A curated guide to your intuition based on nearly a decade of teachings. Get it here.
→ Meditate with me on Insight Timer - My latest meditations are now available on the app. Listen here.